this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize