we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
