I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize