1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
