I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Randomize