Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize