One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
