He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my sisters under your porch take her home
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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