the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize