need another drink. this is the easiest way
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
