***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
