I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
