I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize