and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
