sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
