I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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