She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
