I cannot find my penis.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
