I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
