States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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