I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize