is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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