Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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