it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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