May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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