big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
