Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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