Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
