it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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