I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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