Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
