it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
