The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
