pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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