i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
