took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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