She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
