That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I understand Curling. That high.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize