You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
They took my balls.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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