Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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