I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
