Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
