I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
