I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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