Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I forget how to act sober
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
