Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you would pick up someone in the library
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
