last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
