Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
