We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
