his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't want my vagina anymore.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
