You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
This is classic penis vs brain.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
