i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
