I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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