1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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