I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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