I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize