Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize