dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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