Where did you get a picture of my penis
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
