then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Pants 0. Shit 1.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize