you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
