worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
These tits shall not be calmed
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
