You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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