So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
