to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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