Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
