He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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