you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
