Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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