clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
