You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
