Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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