why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
