Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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