After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize