Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
