I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
