white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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