That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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