i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
