the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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