she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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