I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
