Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize